Sometimes, it becomes inevitable but very difficult to control your emotions. I still don’t know, how I’m holding myself back. I was asked to shift my belongings for the fourth time in last three months. Earlier, I thought “Oh! They are providing for my accommodation for free in the foreign land, that’s enough. I’m obliged to assist them.” But today my limit of patience was crossed. How much can one endure?

I got late in obtaining my visa this time and hence my stay in India increased from ten days to two weeks. I was so afraid and regretful. I thought, “They are paying me and treating me just like their employees. This shouldn’t have happened.” Then my father told me to quit worrying coz that was a thing not in my hands. And now those emotions are completely gone!

But I’m a person who won’t say anything. I told my mentor though that this is not fair. But this time, it is for my company only. I had thought in my head, I’ll say this and that but I still couldn’t say anything. When I was told later that I have to shift today itself, I just broke down. Thank God, I was at the room provided to me as abode. I cried for half an hour, this time loudly. At what? At my nature. Why can’t I say anything? If there had been any other person, would have they complied this easily?

I have come to realize, people like me are made use of like that only. If we can’t stand for ourselves, we have to face the consequences. Although, I have known the fact from long before, I still can’t do anything about it. Because people like me think that if I am good to others, others should be too. I always forget that this is what my parents taught me and the world has taken 180 deg turn in the years.

One thing I’m worried about the most is, how I will convince my parents this time. Last time I said the same thing about being thankful and what not. At first they were furious, but then my father accepted it and I was satisfied. This time, they are going to be very upset and one thing I can’t bear is seeing them sad, especially because of others. I just pray for the strength to tell them.

In the end, I can only be angry at myself and my helplessness.

Today’s song – 

Although not related this time. Somehow earlier songs fitted with the situations well……..